All levels return to normal. Whatever normal is.
After all the anticipation, excitement, and joy leading up to my 30th day of sobriety, and then, of course, the actual event, it was inevitable that day 31 should arrive. Here, now peacefully reveling in the events of the day before, less the hubbub and fanfare.
Yesterday was filled with excited hugs in AA meetings and rehab groups. Pats on the back from friends, strangers, and counselors. A celebration of struggle and success. But today arrived, quiet, mild and contemplative.
It’s truly a time for reflection. I’ve seen how good a beginning can be. But now it’s time to buckle down and get to work. While my mind has been in and of the Big Book, suspended like a hover board over the Twelve Steps, reading and being mindful of the work ahead, this is the turning point where I cease to stand still and start the wheels turning.
With a clear head and positive attitude, I look forward to moving through my recovery. Sitting at 4:45AM in my dining nook, AA literature laid out in front of me, my notebooks, journals, and lists. A scholar of myself. Knowing full well that the hard part is still to come, several times over.
I turn to God. Ask him to be with me, to help me carry out his plan. That is how I got here, God at my side. Turning over my cares and worries in complete trust of this process, his process. Without that surrender, I don’t know that I could have made it to this place of inner stirring.
So, in the aftermath of celebration, I draw strength from things accomplished and step over the threshold and into the fray of a soul with so, so many things to set straight. Something that, even in my elation, never left my mind.
Not for a second.