The eagle has landed.
Yes, my folks have arrived from NYC. And, I’m very excited to have family in town. I’ve been on my own here in Oregon since my ex and I split. And, while it’s nice to have a renewed sense of independence and autonomy, it’s always nice to have visitors. They’re a reminder of where I came from, and they’re most welcome company.
Now that I’m sober, there is this new dynamic to think about, and I know that it makes me uncomfortable at times. So, I can only imagine how my parental guests feel. It’s hard to know what things to say, what things go without saying, and what boundaries haven’t yet been broached and knowing the appropriate time to address them, and the manner in which they should be addressed. After all, these are my parents. They take me as I am, and deep down, I know this, but, I think we can all agree that sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, even when we have good relationships with our family members.
So, this week, I have to get to my meetings. And, when I’m not at my meetings, I have to keep the AA tools and principles by my side, on the ready. I’ve already had my fair share of squirrely moments waiting for my parents to arrive. Stress, especially this time of year, and with these circumstances, has relapse written all over it, and I’d be a fool to assume that I’m not as vulnerable as the next alcoholic to the temptations of the holiday hubbub.
It’s a time for cleaning my apartment, of course, good ol’ Mom and Dad are in their rental car just around the corner! But, more importantly, I have to keep my side of the street clean. I have to prepare and plan for the stressors and situations that have the potential to trip me up.
With my 3 month milestone right around the corner, nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important to me than maintaining and taking care to honor myself and my sobriety by making sure that I get what I need. It’s hard with guests, sometimes my instinct is to lay down and ‘doormat it.’ I have to remember that catering to others expectations and needs was a big part of the reason I ended up in the position I ended up in.
So, I’m sweeping my side of the street at every chance I get this holiday week. And, once that’s nice and tidy, I’ll take the Mr. Clean sponge to the tub, ’cause dammit, that’s lookin’ pretty squirrely too.