Another packed Tuesday turned out to be fruitful.
I had my day filled with a therapy session, my yoga workshop, my bible study, and an evening AA meeting.
It’s nice that even in unemployment I can feel like I have purpose. And, yes, I’d prefer to get paid to run around and do all the little errands and accomplishments of my day, but, I realize that the dividends of this work are not in cash flow. It’s all spiritual currency. Digging into my self. Giving back something to my God and his world. Keeping sober, living in amends to myself and those that were effected by my drinking.
I’m tired at the end of this long, full day. But, more than tired, I am grateful for the gifts of my new life.
Since leaving treatment, with almost double the down time I once had, I worried that I’d fall back into old, lazy patterns. And, yes, some days, I have committed myself to watching half a season of Nip/Tuck at-a-go, but, that’s OK too. I’m staying connected. I know that this connection to myself and my higher power will be hard to break. I know now that my life is worth more than five days in front of the television. So, this week, maybe I’ll allow just one day to sit and bask in the glory of the TV’s rays.
This spiritual currency, it buys you a lot. But, it requires your time. That’s the thing I have to remind myself, now that I don’t have treatment to remind me every other day. I have to do my part. I can’t let all that self discovery get washed out with the new day’s tide. It requires maintenance. That maintenance necessitates my staying busy and involved in my own life. Work. Working to be sober, to be healthy, to stay connected to my higher power and the important people around me.
It’s good to be busy. And, if you work hard enough, there’s a lot of currency to throw around.