When you put a spotlight on the positive things in your life, unsurprisingly, life tends to look better.
I got bad news today. The job I interviewed for on Monday, well, I didn’t get it.
It was pretty disappointing. I’d had a good feeling about it. I liked the people. I’d visualized myself there, and, I liked it. It felt, well, right. So, when I got an email saying the position had been filled, thanking me for my time and application, I had to make peace with the fact that even if my gut thinks something is right, it may not be right.
At first, I wanted to brood and be negative about the whole thing. After all, it was the first of the many interviews I’ve been on that seemed both promising and like something I could see myself enjoying. But, before I let myself fall into the land of weepy wallowing, I pulled up the con list in my head. The job wasn’t salaried, it didn’t offer insurance, it didn’t offer a 401K, or have a great vacation package. All these things, prior to my interview, were sort of deal breakers. But, since my gut liked the place so much, it was willing to make adjustments to make the scene work.
I realized that since I hadn’t gotten the job, I had to make those same adjustments again. See the good in the situation instead of ruminating over the negative. So, I reminded myself that despite all the appealing things about the office, there were those deal breakers. And, maybe my higher power was gently nudging me here. Maybe he’s telling me that I shouldn’t have budged on those deal breakers. Sure, I want to work at a great place, but, I shouldn’t have to give up all my standards.
It applies to lots of situations in life. Standards are important. They’re guidelines that make sure that we’re staying within our own limits. They also prevent other, outside factors, from taking advantage of us. But, all too often we bend our standards to fit the picture we’re in, so things will ‘work.’ It’s like fitting a wooden square block into a circle shaped hole. It doesn’t fit. But, I’ll be damned if I don’t try to make it fit.
Sometimes we can shimmy our little blocks around enough so things just fit together, even if they’re a little tight, but, more often than not, if it’s not perfect, it just doesn’t work. And, eventually, it’s going to be a problem you can’t ignore. It’s true for work situations, family boundaries, romantic relationships, friendships, the list goes on.
You can’t force things. Well, you can, but, it’s probably not going to work out as well as it could for ya in the end.
Today I realized that looking at things in a positive way, recognizing that I need to respect my own standards, made the rejection a little easier to take. Sure, I won’t be working with those nice folks, but, maybe the job I do get will have nice folks and a fabulous benefits package!
I’m hanging on to hope that whatever is in store for me, is going to be the best thing possible for me in the right here, right now. How’s that for a standard?