With everything the same as it ever was, no sign of change, I felt the need to move. Physically.
Sometimes when everything stagnates and it seems like there’s nothing to be done, I need only move my body, and something shifts.
So, I called my sponsor and told her that I wouldn’t be picking her up today for our meeting. I decided to leave the car at home and hoof it. I’d read the weather report and it predicted warmer temperatures and partial sun. That was enough for me. After my morning AA meeting, I set off on the little jaunt across town to meet up with my sponsor at Starbucks.
The weather was not nearly as nice as I was expecting. It wasn’t really warm, the partial sun was more of a complete cloud cover, and it was spitting rain. But, despite conditions that were a departure from my expectations, my mood still improved as I picked up speed.
Blood pumped through my legs and arms, and, I felt alive. The promise of spring is upon us here in Portland, Oregon. While it hasn’t quite bust out yet, the spring foliage is popping up out of every ill-tended garden and sidewalk crack. The quiet hum of Sunday morning picked up as I reached the main thoroughfares: Hawthorne, Belmont, E. Burnside. Morning brunch junkies line up outside restaurants just about to open their doors, clutching paper coffee cups and looking tired. As I power walked on, trying to gain some speed to ensure I wouldn’t be late to meet my sponsor, I felt a certain peace.
I am headed somewhere. I feel the movement. I’m covering ground.
Sometimes if I feel stuck, I find it’s best to de-stickify the things you can move. Rather than sit on my ass thinking about how my life seems to be at a relative standstill, I think it would be more beneficial to walk the walk while I run my mind. And, what’s funny is, when it seems like my body is moving, it also seems that my mind can quiet down.
So, as most Sunday’s go for me, it was a lovely day in recovery. Meetings, sponsor, and some good old fashioned exercise. And I’m hoping that getting the blood moving will encourage the rest of me to do the same.